For the ‘submissives’ who don’t actually like the word no. A loving warning from a healed Domme who won’t be bullied into anything.💜
Ah yes, the overly bubbly and neuro-spicy Goddess is going to speak to the unhealthy nature and patterns of some ‘submissives’ (or folks who call themselves submissive) for awareness and learning purposes. I have been doing this long enough to know that most submissives and slaves who sovereignly chose to serve Me as their Goddess, are genuinely caring and good, they want to have and continue to have fun, they genuinely respect My boundaries and energy, and genuinely want Me to enjoy Myself as the Boss and Governess in O/our D/s dynamic and treat Me as such. Thankfully, this is most often the case, and I always love to share with interested people that I am grateful as a Domme, that I get to see the best side of men (and Women), however, W/we won’t be speaking about the good boys and girls, today. W/we adore the good and obedient boys and Ladies.
After all My years of being the ‘nice Domme’ and in general, being the ‘nice one’, I learned the hard way through life and relationships that My role as a Domme (and human) required Me to shift and grow out of that - fucking radically. I needed to shift out of being understood as the ‘nice’ one to become the ‘kind’ one. This was important because for Me, being nice came from a place of people-pleasing and survival, and it is often understood as a weakness and something to be exploited - by unhealthy people in general. Kindness is the mature older sister that I hope W/we all care to one day evolve into - where consideration includes everyone in the situation and their best interest, versus taking action to only please one person in the dynamic at the others’ expense (out of fear of losing them). I have learned that even still, some unhealthy people will also confuse My kindness as weakness, and then act surprised about logical/natural boundaries or consequences that come afterwards. Imagine that! Unfortunately, there are emotionally unintelligent people everywhere.
So, for the ‘submissives’ who don’t actually like to hear the word no, who don’t actually like to follow structure and The Rules, who don’t actually value Spiritually Powerful and Empowered Women, and who think that because they are horny and tributing for time with a Domme, means they get whatever they want from Her - what makes you come to see Me or other real Domme’s? What is appealing about the suffering or drama cycle of always wanting more from someone, and never being grateful or satisfied with what is given? This past year I promised Myself that I would be kinder to Myself and My energy, and not give so much of it away to folks who are truly ungrateful, or aren’t ready to respect what I give or who I am. I know that when I protect My peace and My energetic boundaries, this transfers into being kinder and more generous to My current submissives/slaves and those who show up for Me and My needs. So when I have been challenged this past year by ‘submissives’ who have attempted to push and manipulate My boundaries, I am left genuinely confused and My cut off game has therefore gotten even stronger. And I’m a Leo, so My cut off game for bullshit was already strong.
Now, don’t get Me wrong here, I understand the horny nature of man and My submissives. W/we aren’t talking about this sacred primal energy that is teased and used within D/s relationships mindfully and with purpose. I am speaking about the ‘submissives’ who intentionally make what is clear - unclear on purpose. Attempting to take advantage. I am speaking about the intentional twisting of My words and desires to suit theirs. The conscious, ungrateful energetic drain of taking as much of My time as possible after the session has ended for their selfish needs. Texting Me daily without tribute for inappropriate access to My energy and getting upset if I don’t respond fast enough. I am speaking about the unchecked sexual greed, entitlement and projections of old wounds that are not Mine (or any other Domme’s) to fix or perform for. I was never a slaves Mother or ex-Wife, therefore, I am not responsible for where another Woman made mistakes. The intentional under-tributing a Goddess for their skills and time and acting like they didn’t, and then demanding for it back after being creepy, un-consensual and disrespectful. Demanding and guilt tripping Me for My services, time and efforts for free. Especially when knowing that most Women don’t have professional-level Kink/BDSM skills, respectfully. I am also speaking about flat out lying, narcissism, and threatening My Business with ‘shitty reviews’ if they don’t get what they want from Me. Lately, I have consciously stopped worrying about these temper tantrums from grown people who cannot communicate with or respect a Woman properly, and started fully embracing being ‘THE BAD GUY’ in some people’s stories.
Because guess what - I have the receipts (emails/texts), My own perspective, memory and feelings as a Woman, and extreme pattern recognition from a lifetime of being hyper-vigilant with high functioning ADHD. Respectfully, I’m never explaining Myself and basic respect to adults again. All with love.💜 The Creator witnesses it all.
The retired (dead), old-version, people-pleaser in Me didn’t want anyone to ‘hate’ or ‘be mad’ at Me. As an Empath, it used to be hard for Me to feel everyone’s suffering as My own, so I tried smoothing over their discomforts to the best of My ability. My tolerance for fluctuating human behavior is high, and My understanding for mistakes and misunderstandings is unmatched - but I am calling out these shitty behaviors because I have more than enough evidence and experience to show Me that men/submissives are very capable of respecting My needs and boundaries as a Goddess. Most of them happily do! 💜 And this makes it even more obvious that the unhealthy ‘submissives’ know exactly what they are doing to Me, other Domme’s and sex workers.
Thankfully, that’s where I am at in life and here is your only loving warning - I trust that you know exactly what you’re doing and how you’re treating others - and when you show Me who you really are - I promise I will believe you and not convince Myself otherwise. I will not risk My mental, emotional, spiritual or physical health for anything that feels off, yucky or misaligned. I am not entertaining toxic people or ‘D/s situationships’ that use and hurt Me with their unhealed attachment wounds, negative attention seeking behavior, poorly managed mental health or addictions. None of U/us should. This goes for other Dominant’s and Ladies in the BDSM community, as well. I’ve experienced enough Mean-Girl bully energy from grown Women and it can stay in the sandbox and the fuck away from Me, too. 🙏💜 I only wish the best for you all.
And lastly, Pro-Domme’s and sex workers are not the dumping grounds or saviors for what is left unhealed, your lack of self love or broken relationship cycles. I joyfully hold sacred space for you to witness your best, most vulnerable submissive self - but I am not the Lady you lash out on when you’re not getting what you want, and there is no way that any amount of bullying, threatening Me or projection is going to heal you or make you feel better. I am not here to carry your self sabotage for you. All that matters to Me is that I know the truth and will protect Myself with hard lines and boundaries as necessary.
I am here to liberate, validate, celebrate conscious power exchange, heal My shadow, honour consent, express Myself fully and enjoy authentic connection. Check yourself accordingly. 💜
Goddess Lady Ravyn
xox
